Recently, divorce has become widespread in Arab societies and it became as if it is normal or easily justifiable. The strange phenomenon is that divorce cases are increasing from year to year. This could be happening due to external pressures or influences from family or friends; then the man sacrifices with his wife and his children, to begin another path of struggle and suffer. A new story begins where the mother need to play the role of father in day time and mother at night.
When talk about divorce, we should also talk about the marriage its whether it was the right choice, and were the couple prepared well to build a family and take the responsibility of having children before making such a decision? Divorce is the most hated lawful in Allah’s sight; narrated Ibn ‘Umar that the Prophet (PBUH) said: “The most hated of permissible things to Allah is divorce” (Reported by Ibn Majah).
Every day and night, each one of us is constantly asking Allah to accept his deeds, wouldn’t this be more worthy to be away from everything that is hated by the Lord, especially that we always have shortcomings in our work and efforts.
Some parents think that if they marry their son, raised in luxury, would then change him for better, forgetting that his inability to take on responsibilities will be unfair to the girl who is searching for stable family life. It is without doubt, an injustice to both partners and the image will usually remain blurry after some time during the marriage.
Here we pose a number of questions, who bears the consequence of the divorce? The man who wanted to marry without being ready for that? Or his parents who perfectly knew that their son is not eligible for marriage but they decide to marry him? Or the girl who agreed to get marriage of him? Or the society which are not preparing the youths properly to take their responsibility when they get married? Or the culture and traditions imposed on a man to marry without being ready for marriage and unable to meet family requirements or play the role of parent properly?
The Minister of Development Planning and Statistics, H E Dr Saleh bin Mohammed Al Nabit, issued a statement saying that divorce rate in Qatar reached 34.8pc.
This is a high percentage and shows that there is a cancer spreading in every home. This seems to convey that if anyone faces marriage difficulties then do not bother yourself and simply take the easiest way out, which is divorce.
If we look back in history, we find beautiful examples spread in every neighbourhood and even in every home; a man and his wife lived together for a lifetime as they shared their sweet and bitter times, had many children and raised a good family. Divorce wasn’t widespread at that time as we see nowadays; they had different and more serious reasons to take such a step.
Today, many get married and forget their roles as fathers and mothers, and they forgot that they are the fundamental pillars of a family, contributing to the formation of a healthy society.
We need to evaluate ourselves and our children before indulging in marriage and making a crack in society that is difficult to restore. Wife is a blessing for her husband, partner and means for his success; according to what have been narrated by Abdullah bin Amr from the Prophet (PBUH) said: “The world is but a (quick passing) enjoyment; and the best enjoyment of this world is a pious and virtuous wife” (Reported by Imam Muslim).
Divorce might have become a fashion because of differences of opinion between couples, a divorced person inciting his friend to do the same, or encouraging him to abuse his wife. It was narrated by Abu Hurairah that the Prophet (PBUH) said:
“He is not one of us, anyone who incites a woman against her husband or a slave against his master is not one of us (meaning not a Muslim)” (Reported by Abu Dawood)
Divorce was allowed for a noble cause but must be preceded by many steps before taking the decision.
Dear readers, if you are a husband or a wife, know that both of you are the foundation of the family that the society is based upon. You are the ones who will draw the right image for your children who will become a husband or a wife one day, so take extreme care in overcoming your differences and make sure that you don’t do so in front of your children. Instead you need to prepare them through your thoughts how to build a family, reminding them that divorce is hated by God and it is only a solution when everything else fails. Here I would like to thank RAF — the Sheikh Thani Bin Abdullah Foundation for Humanitarian Services, which developed special courses for those wishing to marry in order to educate them on how to deal with the life partner, raise children and manage family budget, among other important marriage issues. Divorce is a solution which comes as a final step after wasting all possible solutions. Finally, solving the problem requires honesty with oneself and others and not harming others is a proof of good behaviour and sound understanding.
