International migration is a phenomenon of which Qatar is the perfect example, being host to people from a large number of nationalities who make up roughly 85 percent of the country’s population. Thousands of children are born or grow up in this boiling pot of cultures. Multiculturalism enriches their lives, but can also cause problems with adaptation, especially if the children move from their homeland in the critical developing years.
If the family is lucky, the process of migration is simple: the core of the family moves together, and the parents start on their new jobs and the children enrol in a new school. Such children, who start life in a new country during their developing years, are referred to as third culture kids (TCKs).
Third culture kids are children who spend a significant part of their developmental years outside their parents’ culture. Such children internalise aspects of both, the culture of their homeland and that of the host country, building a new identity (third culture) that reflects their experiences, but do not develop a sense of belonging to any one culture.
Patricia Rocha, a licensed marriage and family therapist working in Doha mainly with expatriate families, explained that “the term third culture kid was coined in the early 1960s by American sociologist Ruth Hill Useem, who studied children who grew up in two or more cultures, including their own children, who lived in India.” She and other experts later found that TCKs cope rather than adjust, becoming a part of and staying apart from whatever situation they are in.
Rocha added: “Most third culture kids struggle to answer questions such as ‘where are you from,’ and home for them is an emotional location; it cannot be found on a map.” The majority of these children return to their parents’ home country at some point in their lives. They “end up feeling like strangers in their own land,” the expert said.
According to the therapist, who works with children through games, “re-entry may be one of the most difficult transitions, because even though they look as insiders, these kids feel like outsiders as they are lost in the (local) slang or idioms, have acquired a different taste in food and are unfamiliar with (the local) pop culture.”
“Sometimes, as TCKs mature, they become adult third culture kids. Some of them come to terms with issues such as culture shock and a sense of not belonging, while others struggle with these their entire lives,” she said.
Such children are usually involved in an international school environment. Teachers and school counsellors are in key positions to be aware of the unique identity of such kids, identify those at risk and offer assistance to those who may be experiencing difficulties as a consequence of living in a new culture.
Dougie Smith, Headmaster at Park House English School, said: “with over 60 different nationalities at our school, the children are very much in a multicultural society. The nature of the school means that the vast majority of students are expatriates and have experienced moving to a different country and a new school.
“As a consequence, the children are very welcoming and friendly towards new students, and respectful of different cultures. New students to Park House settle in quickly, with few difficulties.”
If there is a large welcoming community in the host country, expatriate children commonly don’t face any problems, especially when the culture shock is not strong. This is the case with Indian children in Qatar, who in numerous cases have an extended family support system and attend Indian schools.
A K Shrivastava, Principal of Birla Public School, which has more than 6,000 Indian students, said “the Indian community is very special. Children don’t have any problems of that kind because they attend huge schools with peers of their own culture.”
“They stay in their own community, which has a huge presence in Qatar, and they are growing up pretty good,” he concluded.
Nevertheless, the number of TCKs is on the rise as a result of the migration that has accompanied globalization. Research is paying more attention to this and exploring in depth the impact of globalization on the lives of internationally mobile families.
Faten, from Jordan, has lived in eight countries and her children have followed her most of their lives. Her current location is Qatar, and she said her nomadic life has had “more good things than bad.” It’s a privileged life which, however, can be hard on children. “These kids learn many languages and are accustomed to a way of life that later makes it very difficult for them to feel comfortable in their home country, they are outsiders there”, she said.
Ana, a Spanish mother of four boys, has seen how moving to a new country can pose problems for children. Her kids, aged five, 14, 16 and 18, moved to Doha before the beginning of the school year. The oldest is in university, the two middle ones are in school and the youngest is in preschool.
The family moved to Qatar because of the father’s job, but Ana has been able to continue with her work from home. Juggling a career and a big family is not always easy, and it proved tricky during the first few weeks in a new country with different customs.
The youngest of the children had difficulties adjusting to his new life, given that he was only four when he arrived. “At first he thought he was here on holiday, and he had problems with English and Arabic. He anguished to the point that he walked up to children in school asking if anyone spoke Spanish,” said his mother.
However, the family decided not to worry and, day by day, with the support of the rest of the family, their son got used to his new school and home. After approximately a month, the boy is fluent in English and learning Arabic quickly.
Advice for parents
“Moving abroad with children is a time-consuming and emotional task. Families need to be aware that it will take some time to adjust to different social norms, cultural differences, customs, identity, and language barriers,” said the therapist.
Rocha insists that “the adults are the ones deciding to relocate, but that does not prevent children playing a part in the planning process. A parent should build excitement but do not over-hype expectations, as they want to aim for a gradual adjustment to their new life and allow gradual adjustment to the new country.”
Upon arrival, it is likely there will be a “honeymoon period” before the reality sinks in, so parents should monitor their children’s gradual adjustment, seek help when needed, and keep the routines and customs they had back home.
It is important that parents provide roots for their children, because the family is the only consistent social unit through all moves. The family should be the stabilizing factor and must be strengthened when leading a mobile lifestyle.
Children who relocate may experience stress and even grief. There is a consensus among experts that it is harder for families to relocate with children aged 10 years and above. They agree that language learning is easy for these kids, but the problems usually relate to change of culture and the need to create new friendships. A growing body of research on third culture kids points to developmental challenges like early maturity.
The Peninsula
